The most popular girl in the room.

 I don't want you to be surprised when you start seeing me on the cover of magazines, ok? It's just that, I'm kind of a big deal. Like Taylor Swift. 

Seriously. I'm the most popular person I know. I'm definitely famous. I've already looked into securing a body guard to deal with the fan situation that is going on. Frankly, it's exhausting and I know I shouldn't complain, but I'm just not used to being an icon.

All day long people are screaming my name and trying to get to me. You just don't know how hard it is. Just yesterday, people were fighting to get my attention and I was just trying to do, like, normal everyday stuff. I can't go anywhere without my fans trying to reach out and grab me or touch me - like just being that close to me some of my cool might rub off on them. They might be next-to-famous for a second. People have literally thrown their most prized possessions at me to give me the most wonderful priceless thing that they own. It's flattering, but also, wildly overwhelming. It's like it happened overnight. 

Take this morning for example. I was just sitting there taking my 45 year old supplements so that I can continue to be youthful and gorgeous, right? Just your typical plant based omega 3, fiber supplements, calcium, vitamin D, blah blah blah. When all of a sudden this dude comes up to me, in tears because he can't believe he is this close to me, and demands to sit in my lap. Who does that? 

Sometimes, I'm just driving down the road when it happens. They come out of nowhere saying my name over and over.

Last night I was just trying to watch TV with my husband. I needed to relax. Three different occasions this guy comes in and claims he needs snuggles and only mine will do. One time he actually gave me one of his stuffed animals as a gift. 

Honestly, I'm just a regular person. Just like you. I do regular things with regular people. It's not necessary for folks to go to these lengths to get my attention. 

It's caused me to say some pretty weird things to them in response to their wild behaviors. Things like:

"Don't touch me. It's hot outside and Mama can't take it."

"I'd love to snuggle with you but Mama is having a hot flash right now. Give me 30 minutes."

"I'd love to have you eat dinner with us but you keep putting that spoon up your nose and that's just not working for me, homie."

"Can you hear your brother saying my name and me talking to him? Why would you think I could address both of you at the same time on very different topics? I'm just one person."

"WHY IS EVERYONE DEMANDING DIFFERENT TYPES OF FOOD AT THE SAME TIME, WHEN DINNER IS CLEARLY ON THE TABLE?"

"Wow. That is some Lego structure you've made there. I'm so honored that you took time to tell me about it. Thank you. I have an idea! You go upstairs and shut the bathroom door behind you. I'd like to have some privacy before I learn more about Lego things."

"I know I'm a little heavier than I used to be but I don't have enough lap for all of you."

"Everyone needs to go to their rooms for just a few minutes for some quiet time. Even though it's not really ever quiet."

"I was going to eat that, but sure, just take it."

"When you climb on me in public places it makes my pants come down and that's not fun for me."

"Mama can't do horse back rides anymore. The horse is dead. Get off of me."

But being this popular totally has its perks. As the only female in this house, I am fiercely defended by three humans and one dog. Yes Frasier is still alive but he can't hear or see, therefore he's not part of the defense system.

Even when the snuggles are too much and never ending, I have them. And they are sweet. Especially when it's a little boy whose hair is all sweaty and has pieces of food from breakfast stuck in it. 

While the noise is at times more than I can handle, the sound of laughter that rolls out of my children, in waves of pure unadulterated joy is what I imagine heaven sounds like. Just peals of giggles and cackles echoing from the farthest reaches.

Yes the wrestling and dog piles on the living room floor hurt me. But I have to remind them that I can put them in a cradle at any moment. Don't start something you can't finish.

Whenever anyone gets hurt, I'm the only one who can fix it. Sometimes, that comes with a dose of tough love. I can warn you about all the dangers in the world, little boy, but sometimes you have to run into them yourself to learn. Yes, if you take food from Eli he will bite you. Every. Single. Time. You are in control of how many times he bites you over food that you have taken off of his plate. 

Being the most popular girl in the room was never one of my life goals. I was fine to have a couple close friends. But being the most popular girl in the house, I won't trade for anything in this world. It's temporary and priceless and if I blink my eyes it will be gone.