Friday night was the first time I felt like myself in two weeks. COVID 19 fried my brain. If you haven't heard of the COVID brain fog, let me tell you - it's real.
I am still missing full days of things from my memory. On Friday however, I was finally fully functional. And it was good to be back.
I made a grocery list and scheduled a Wal Mart pick up. I worked from home. I entertained Josiah. I made dinner.
Friday night is pizza night and I was so happy to be able to make pizza again. I could smell it this time too. Sorry to those of you out there that still don't have your smell back. I'm not trying to rub it in. Honest...
Making dinner as a mom is a special task. So much of being a mom is centered around what will be eaten next and how on Earth will it be prepared? It is a constant thought. It seems like whenever I get started on dinner and my hands are covered in raw chicken juices, someone needs something. And I don't mean like they need me to help them reach something and can wait. I mean they need help getting to the potty or there will be urine everywhere and I've got a raw chicken situation in the kitchen. It's the making of a bio-hazard.
On this particular Friday, things went so smoothly. Eli was sleeping peacefully in the car seat. Since he had only had a 20 minute nap at school and pizza doesn't take that long we let him sleep a little bit. Aaron and Josiah were hanging out. This was going to be a manageable task.
I make my own pizza dough. It's a recipe that I have memorized. 2 packets of yeast, 2 cups of hot water, two teaspoons of sugar, let it get foamy, 3 teaspoons of salt, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, 2 tablespoons of honey, 5 cups of whole wheat flour. Sometimes I throw in all purpose flour and don't tell anyone.
I had let the dough rise and it was ready to throw. While I was throwing my pizza dough and stretching it to the stone, I listened to the sounds of my home. A baby snoozing quietly. A dog waiting for food to drop. A husband and a preschooler wrestling on the bed laughing wildly. Sweet precious reckless giggles and squeals of joy came out of Josiah. It's my favorite sound.
And then it got really quiet. That's when I heard the following words from my spouse:
"Wait, you've got a booger in your nose. Let's pick it out."
Long pause, during which I think to myself, that seems reasonable. Have a booger, get it out. Boogers aren't for keeping. Then I realize that I sleep in that bed they are wrestling on. Then I think about what might happen to the booger once it's out of the nose. Then I hear this gem, also from my spouse:
"Uh....just give me your sock. We'll put it in your sock and then you can put your sock in the dirty clothes."
Most of you now are sufficiently grossed out. Which is fine. You should know by now that I have no problem grossing you out. Some of you are judging and that is where I shake my finger at you in disgust. Shame on you.
Some of you are wondering what I did upon hearing this.
I. Did. Nothing.
That's right. I made pizza while my husband and son put a booger in a sock and put it in the dirty clothes. Not only that, but I secretly admired the genius of sock boogers. Why hadn't I thought of that? Just put your boogers in a sock and put it in the dirty clothes. So simple.
Gross you say? Let's break this down.....
Option 1 - Kid eats the booger. NOT acceptable.
Option 2 - They choose to flick the booger into oblivion. Worse case scenario, booger is found at a later date. Or not. If you don't find the booger that was flicked and you know it was flicked somewhere, do you ever sleep in peace again? No. You don't.
Option 3 - They wipe said booger on my pillow. NOT acceptable.
Option 4 - They stop playing, search the house for tissues (which are ALWAYS in the living room on the table). Then they interrupt me making dinner to ask for help finding the tissues (which are ALWAYS in the living room on the table). Then once the tissue had been obtained they will realize that the kid ate the booger while they were looking for the tissue. Or the booger gets lost while they seek my help to look for a tissue. Either way, the booger has not been properly disposed of.
Now is it coming together for you? Simply take off your already dirty sock, place the booger inside of it, and put it in the dirty clothes basket. Then continue with the wrestling. Problem solved.
Not only that, but dinner was completed without interruption and according to my family it was the best pizza crust I've ever made.
Because I used a LOT of all purpose flour and just enough whole wheat flour to make it brown.
#winning
Perfect, as always!
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard I cried!! You are amazing!! ❤️
ReplyDelete