How we met Elijah James

 At 4:36am this morning I was washing our two bottles in a small dish tub that the Holiday Inn Express gave us. Two is better than one. I should have planned better. But isn't that the theme of most of my life?

We have 4 bottles total, it's just that Eli seems to prefer just these two and at 4am, who wants to even try a bottle that might not be the preferred bottle? No one. 

Don't worry. More bottles are in transit as we speak. They are in our car with my parents and Josiah driving in this very direction. My parents are so lovely. They are bringing supplies that we already have and our precious boy Josiah to us, because we are going to be here for a while. 

I've never been away from Josiah for this long in my life. I'm counting the hours until he gets here. 

I'm not sure what day it is, but I know we got here on a Sunday. Every day after that we got to spend time with our new family. The family that held Eli first. 

When I chose open adoption, I didn't know how my heart would expand. I know that sounds incredibly cheesy. I knew I would fall in love with the child. I knew I would love where that child came from and I would promise to always honor that. But I didn't know how deep that love would be and how quickly it would form. 

Justine is Eli's first mom. She's my womb buddy. I knew the first time that I spoke with her that we would be great friends. We love true crime movies and serial killers. We like animals. We don't like crying in front of people and will avoid it at all costs. We don't like math. And we are wildly resilient when life gets really messy. I love Justine just the way she is today. Not yesterday. Not 6 years ago. Right here, right now.

I learned that from my husband. He never looked at my history. He met me where I was and we looked forward. That is love. 

I also learned that from Christ. He knows where we were, forgives it, and builds our relationship on looking forward to our future. 

So we got Eli a son and we got Justine a daughter/friend. But we got even more...we got Grannie.

Grannie raised Justine. She's our only great grandmother in our family so she is extremely special. She passed the test to be a Weeki Wachee mermaid back in the day, but never took the job. That means she was smokin hot. How many of you can say that your great grandmother was a Weeki Wachee mermaid? That's what I thought. None of you. Grannie is gentle and kind and gives the best hugs I've ever felt. She is pure love. 

There are other family members too. Uncle Cody. Uncle Cody is in high school and just got a pet bunny that is the cutest thing I've ever seen. He loves anime. This process hurt his heart and he reacted just like any teenage boy would. With silence, long hair in face, eyes on the phone. I hope he knows that it's ok. We are still here no matter how much it hurts right now. 

Being with this family was as natural as anything. It's like we've known them our whole lives. I think I'm still in shock that God unfolded this for us. 

We signed papers on Thursday and went to the office to pick up Eli at noon. I was extremely relaxed. It was like all the excitement and stress to that point had left me tired. We walked into the building and there he was. He was in the arms of a Social Worker named Dakota. She had just prepared a bottle for him. There were two other Social Workers there too, who were going to go to lunch, but wanted to stay to witness this special event. And of course, my girl Malinda was there. 

I cried the whole time. I held him and fed him and cried. I was completely overcome with joy and love for this tiny stranger. He must think I'm crazy. I told him that we had been looking for him for a long time. That we had prayed for him every night since October 2019. God prepare a birth mother for us, let her be strong, let her grow a strong healthy baby, let the circumstances that bring her to us - even though they may be painful - let those circumstances result in love and a future, Abba Father prepare our hearts and our home for this child. And He did. He did all of that. And it absolutely blew my mind how perfectly He wove our lives together. 

When we got back to the hotel, something familiar happened. The woman at the front desk said,

"What a little cutie pie! I hope he lets grandma and grandpa get some rest tonight."

I had an infant for less than an hour and I was called a grandma. 

It happens. All. The. Time. Fortunately, I think it's hilarious. 

But I also consider botox from time to time. Or maybe some hair color. But then I would miss the opportunities to laugh. 

Each day I tell Eli how special he is. Not just to us, but to his first family. Not everyone has a first family and not everyone has a first family as loving as his. I tell him how exciting it will be to have Josiah as a big brother, a Grandpa to run with, a Nana to snuggle with, a Buddy to ride a tractor with, and a Nonna to squeal every time she sees you. 

Thank you Malinda, for taking ugly crying photos of me because it's the real thing and not staged. And thank you COVID 19 for making us wear masks so you can only see the top half of my face and not the snot and tears that are being accumulated inside the mask.