Isn't that the most interesting phrase? That's how Andrew Peterson describes marriage in the song of the same name. Dancing through the minefields. Doing life with another sinner is like carelessly skipping through minefields. And loving it. That's why it's a covenant between two people and God. A covenant is the only thing that gives you that kind of confidence.
I chose that song for our wedding. That's the song that played while I walked down the aisle with my Dad right before he handed me over to make that promise.
Nothing could be more true about our family's journey. Today we begin the physical journey to get our daughter.
I'm more stressed out than a dog chasing his tail in a room full of mousetraps.
I remember 5 years ago, I was stressed when our hotel gave us the wrong room for our honeymoon. It feels like a million years ago. It feels like we were children. Doing life together grows you in the most interesting ways.
This has been a different stress. Here are the ingredients to the perfect storm:
- 1 part bank change. Our bank recently merged with another bank that charges ridiculous fees. I've spent the past two weeks trying to fix that mess. This is significant because we are moving a lot of money these days. Don't get excited. It's not coming in, it's going out.
- 3 parts pandemic. The three of us have been in this house together since March. IT'S JULY. We have worked from home, exercised from home, worshiped from home, everything. All from home. We have been scared of COVD 19, worried for our parents, worried for our kid. That turned into anger and frustration. Now we are just worn out. Our daughter is coming from a county that has a pretty high rate of COVID 19. So we are experiencing all those things again. It's like a vicious cycle.
- 4 parts adoption. Adoption is riddled with questions and heavy on the financial side. I cannot begin to tell you about the paperwork that I have filled out. Pounds upon pounds of paperwork. Bank paperwork. Agency paperwork. Grant paperwork. Medical documentation. All of that was easy compared to the questions. When is the baby due? Is the birth mother ok? What kind of relationship does she want with us? Can I go into the hospital during a pandemic? How long will the baby be in the NICU? Should we contact the birth mother? Is the baby ok? How long will we be in that state? What about the paperwork for the actual process? The fact of the matter is there aren't really answers. It just kind of happens. Any answer they give you is subject to change. Just like all the crap with COVID. Everything is subject to change. Shifting sand.
Then just to make it all a little sweeter add 4 tablespoons of tropical storm. Yep. High winds and rain should hit right about the time we settle down into our air bnb.
Yes these things stress me out. Like I'm tap dancing through a very active minefield. I have weird dreams. My sleep is all messed up. My body even protested by having a UTI. Because, what could make an 11 hour car trip with a toddler to adopt a baby girl more pleasant than a UTI? Am I right?
When was the last time you saw someone tap dancing? You tube it. Right now. I'll wait.
Did you see anything sad about that? Is it possible to have sad tap dancing? Nope. So let's take a minute to really dig into what I just said. I'm TAP DANCING through a VERY ACTIVE MINEFIELD.
I couldn't be more excited to get in a car with my 3 year old son and my husband to drive for 2 days with a UTI into a tropical storm during a pandemic to stretch us financially in order to adopt a baby girl knowing that I have to let it happen and I have no control over it.
I'm with the people I love. Doing what God has led us to do. It's like free falling. It's like that feeling you get right before the roller coaster starts - when you are getting in the seat. It's exciting. There's a wildly out of control feeling but paired with crazy confidence that this is right and good and will bring glory to Him.
Savion Glover and Eleanor Powell ain't got nothing on me.
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