it's 6am. i have coffee and i've been up for an hour. the rest of the house is silent. all my boys are sound asleep. except for cici the farting dog. but seriously, who can sleep when your tail end talks that loudly?
it's time for some updates.
1) the bottle situation.
i had to break up with those kiinde bottles and bags. preschool wasn't having them. so i tried nuby, and then nuby with different nipples. and i think i tried something else too - i can't remember. the point is i tried a lot of crap and the only thing that works is Dr. Brown's. i even had a friend tell me prior to birth "Don't waste your time. Go straight for Dr. Brown's." i repeat this mantra to you now....don't waste your time. go straight for Dr. Brown's.
but all the parts! but the cost! shut up. go for Dr. Brown's. put all those thoughts out of your head and just get 12 or more of them and move on.
2) the first illness
earlier i talked about explosive poop. i should have kept my mouth shut.
his first illness was a stomach bug. i was vomited on 4 times. that little boy had burning nuclear poop that forced us to go through more diapers than we could count and gave him diaper rash like you wouldn't believe. i gave him all of the breast milk in the freezer because you are told that breast milk is magical and cures everything. guess what? didn't matter. still got puked on. i appreciate what la leche league is doing but i feel like they are exaggerating a little bit to help their cause.
he was sick for a week. he was happy, but wanted to be held. constantly. then one day he was back to normal. no one else was sick.
you know why people say their own baby's vomit and diarrhea doesn't bother them? because you are too freaked out to be bothered by it. your brain goes straight into clean up mode and determines the best route to the doctor and how to keep the car clean all in one instant. there's no time to be bothered....
3) speaking of bothered....
babies add a layer to your marriage that you can't even comprehend. there's this wonderful sappy part where you see your partner with your kid and you fall deeper in love with that person because of how they love your kid. that part is lovely.
unfortunately there's this other part. and i can only speak from the wife's point of view - i assume the men have a part that they would describe as well. i don't think any of us are innocent here. just a disclaimer.
this other part is like a tiny monster that you have to kill. this little monster just sits there and keeps count. it only shows up at the end of the day when you are tired. but he shows up with a marker board with tally marks and says "look at all the crap you have done today compared with what he did. and guess what? you aren't even close to being done with your day!"
and that's when you look at him. in the recliner. watching tv. with your favorite blanket.
seriously, you have to kill it. this is the thing that tears people apart after kids. let me tell you, reading it here and living it are two VERY different things. it will catch you totally off guard.
you will get mad when he has time to take a leisurely poop with his phone or ipad without interruption. after kids, you will have to ask for this. you literally have to ask/tell/announce "i'm going to take a poop and i'm taking my phone/ipad. leave me alone for at least 10 minutes. all of you." even then you may not get it. someone will need something that only you can provide.
my mom used to do this all the time. she would announce her bathroom time. and as soon as she shut the door, we would all need something but we weren't allowed to knock or talk to her during that time. so the three of us would just look at each other. and wait.
don't worry, our marriage is safe. we've addressed this just like everything else. with humor.
3) post....wait....he's awake. my day begins. we'll address this list later.
it's time for some updates.
1) the bottle situation.
i had to break up with those kiinde bottles and bags. preschool wasn't having them. so i tried nuby, and then nuby with different nipples. and i think i tried something else too - i can't remember. the point is i tried a lot of crap and the only thing that works is Dr. Brown's. i even had a friend tell me prior to birth "Don't waste your time. Go straight for Dr. Brown's." i repeat this mantra to you now....don't waste your time. go straight for Dr. Brown's.
but all the parts! but the cost! shut up. go for Dr. Brown's. put all those thoughts out of your head and just get 12 or more of them and move on.
2) the first illness
earlier i talked about explosive poop. i should have kept my mouth shut.
his first illness was a stomach bug. i was vomited on 4 times. that little boy had burning nuclear poop that forced us to go through more diapers than we could count and gave him diaper rash like you wouldn't believe. i gave him all of the breast milk in the freezer because you are told that breast milk is magical and cures everything. guess what? didn't matter. still got puked on. i appreciate what la leche league is doing but i feel like they are exaggerating a little bit to help their cause.
he was sick for a week. he was happy, but wanted to be held. constantly. then one day he was back to normal. no one else was sick.
you know why people say their own baby's vomit and diarrhea doesn't bother them? because you are too freaked out to be bothered by it. your brain goes straight into clean up mode and determines the best route to the doctor and how to keep the car clean all in one instant. there's no time to be bothered....
3) speaking of bothered....
babies add a layer to your marriage that you can't even comprehend. there's this wonderful sappy part where you see your partner with your kid and you fall deeper in love with that person because of how they love your kid. that part is lovely.
unfortunately there's this other part. and i can only speak from the wife's point of view - i assume the men have a part that they would describe as well. i don't think any of us are innocent here. just a disclaimer.
this other part is like a tiny monster that you have to kill. this little monster just sits there and keeps count. it only shows up at the end of the day when you are tired. but he shows up with a marker board with tally marks and says "look at all the crap you have done today compared with what he did. and guess what? you aren't even close to being done with your day!"
and that's when you look at him. in the recliner. watching tv. with your favorite blanket.
seriously, you have to kill it. this is the thing that tears people apart after kids. let me tell you, reading it here and living it are two VERY different things. it will catch you totally off guard.
you will get mad when he has time to take a leisurely poop with his phone or ipad without interruption. after kids, you will have to ask for this. you literally have to ask/tell/announce "i'm going to take a poop and i'm taking my phone/ipad. leave me alone for at least 10 minutes. all of you." even then you may not get it. someone will need something that only you can provide.
my mom used to do this all the time. she would announce her bathroom time. and as soon as she shut the door, we would all need something but we weren't allowed to knock or talk to her during that time. so the three of us would just look at each other. and wait.
don't worry, our marriage is safe. we've addressed this just like everything else. with humor.
3) post....wait....he's awake. my day begins. we'll address this list later.
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