have you ever gone to las vegas? not like hoover dam vegas. i mean stay on the strip in a hotel with a maze of slot machines vegas. ever been there? it's the same thing as the hospital after you have a baby. no seriously, hear me out...
in the hospital there are no clocks. you have no idea how long you've been there or what meal you should be eating. same thing as las vegas.
when you leave your hotel room in vegas you will get lost in the hotel. you cannot find your way out of a hotel in vegas and it's designed that way on purpose. if they trap you in there, you become dependent on them. same thing in the hospital.
in the hospital the outfits reveal more than you would normally be comfortable with. in las vegas well....
vegas is loud with all kinds of bells and noises. same thing at the hospital.
when you leave las vegas you are tired and your head is ringing. chances are you've lost some money and you just want to go home and take a shower. you have no idea what day it is. hospital stays are exactly the same.
and the people watching, well, it's pretty fantastic.
after having josiah we had some time in the recovery room, but again everyone was moving too fast. i had imagined it would be me and aaron and a baby and our doula michelle. but no, it was me, aaron, josiah, michelle, and nurses and doctors and tubes and space boots. i had to wear space boots. all. night. long. but more about that later....
the recovery room was busy and we left there for our room on the maternity ward and that became busy. we passed josiah around to grandparents and laughed and took pictures and it was nice. and then everyone left and it was just us. a family of three.
we were there with this new person and he wasn't going anywhere. we passed him back and forth and eventually sat him in his clear basinet so we could get some sleep. sort of.
it's not that josiah cried all night because he didn't. he just made noises. noises neither of us have heard before. and each one made us jump and look at each other and wonder, what was that? should we do something? is that normal?
he did cry. because his diaper was dirty. i know how to change a diaper but at this point i had space boots on and i was still pretty much paralyzed. so i had to give aaron step by step directions.
open the diaper and see what we are dealing with and cover it back up. report back to me.
"uh....we are going to need professional help. call the nurse."
"i'm not calling the nurse. it's not that big of a deal."
"CALL THE NURSE."
so aaron got step by step directions from the nurse. she told him to do exactly what i was going to tell him. and ever since then i'm proud to say he's a diaper changing professional. in fact, i'm the only one that josiah has ever peed on during a diaper change. the first time was in the face. aaron had jumped out of the way and i jumped in and he peed right in my face. since then i've been more careful, but still. i think they plot against me.
we slept some and at some point i woke up and everyone was asleep but me. both my guys snoring away and here i was trapped in space boots and itchy. and hot. and sweaty. here's a picture of the boots:
so i can't move, can't take off my socks, can't bend my legs, it's hot, i'm sweaty and i itch all over. it's a recipe for disaster. there was no relief until the next morning when we were abel to pry the socks off my feet. and eventually the boots came off. but when they did, there were imprints left in my skin that lasted almost all day because i was retaining so much fluid. i thought i was puffy before the baby...that was nothing.
when they finally brought breakfast into the room i cheered and said "look! breakfast!"and the person delivering the hospital food rolled her eyes at me like i was crazy. "it's just that i haven't eaten in over 24 hours...and i'm so hungry." she didn't care.
i told aaron that not being pregnant was awesome because i didn't have to pee at all last night. he informed me that i was currently peeing in a bag next to the bed through a catheter. not as awesome as i thought....
i was so itchy all over it was awful. they said it was because of the morphine and that made sense. they even said it would go away, but it didn't. and it wasn't until i took a shower that i realized the issue. i had broken out in a rash all over. well not all over, just in some specific areas on my stomach and it seems really bad on my rear end. in fact it was a very specific pattern just like where they rolled on the surgical scrub before surgery. yep. i'm allergic to the surgical scrub. and i apparently sat in a large pool of it which created welts the size of half dollars on my butt. i didn't know it then but even with ointments, this rash would take weeks to clear up and would leave scars that are still there today.
we went on walks every so often because the room was tiny. every single time i got turned around. i swear they move things on the floor so you can't leave. the only thing that stayed in the same place was the nurses desk and the room that had food in it for you. those two things never moved. it was like every time i left the room the nurses moved all my stuff to another room. it's a wonder i didn't walk into someone else's room.
i have no idea how long we were there. it was nice to have visitors from time to time and the nurses were kind. but my favorite moments were with just us. for example the night that josiah fell asleep on me while we watched re-runs on netflix. it was the only time that all of us fell asleep. i drooled i slept so well.
until chester and kay busted in the room and turned all the lights on. BAM! chester and kay are here and talking about netflix and orange is the new black and how's your pain and here take this and girl he is so cute and then they were gone. but now we are all awake.
i don't know what day it was when we got to go home but we couldn't get out of there fast enough. aaron practically ran to the car with the car seat and the baby. i was just trying to keep up.
then we had to drive home with a baby in the car. not just any baby, OUR baby. so we didn't get on the interstate and i didn't look at the road. i stayed in the back seat with josiah and looked at his tiny hands.
being home was so nice. there's nothing like being at home. there's nothing like having your own shower. and your own bed. and your own tv. with your family. your new 3 person 3 dog family.
and then a big storm came up and the power went out. and we were without electricity with a baby. which was fine until it wasn't.
at some point josiah became hungrier than my body could provide but we did our best through the night. the next day would be the first day of an 8 week struggle with feeding that i wasn't prepared for.
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