eventually i realized that i couldn't carry on wearing a swimsuit cover up. or maybe i just realized that it wasn't really a dress. clearly i needed clothes. the first step to finding clothes is to go through what you already have and pack away the maternity items for another day.
so i called on my mother in law to watch the kiddo while i dug through clothes. she was fantastic. i tell you there's nothing like a good mother in law.
fortunately most things still fit. sort of. there was just this extra skin that i wasn't sure what to do with. where do you tuck that stuff? does it shrink up? does this mean i can keep wearing elastic waistbands? because if so i'm ok with that. when the clothing inventory was complete it was time to feed again and josiah needed a nap.
before my mother in law left, i went to get josiah out of the swing and that's when i saw it. underneath my precious little boy was a pile of neon poop. i would estimate about a cup to a cup and half of poop. he seemed very happy.
me: i don't even know how to clean that up.
mother in law: me either. but i think we need a blanket.
we used a blanket to wrap him up and carry him to the changing table. i disassembled the swing and put the washable parts in the washer. we threw his outfit away.
while we were cleaning him up on the changing table i noticed it. poop on his hands. poop in his hair. poop every where.
me: carlye, we are going to have to give this kid a bath. hang on and when i call for you, meet me at the sink.
after a nice bath in the sink and a new outfit we were back on track for the afternoon.
this is not the only time we have had this happen. it's happened twice in the swing. but also once in the carseat.
we had been to a nice picnic. aaron left to run errands after we got home. i did a few quick things around the house while josiah slept in the car seat. eventually he woke up and i went and got him out of the car seat. and put my hand right into the warm poop.
as i backed away in shock i looked him over. yep. poop every where. i'm pretty sure that he ate some of it.
i prepped the tub and realized i was on my own this time. again i used a blanket to transport him but during transport realized that all 3 dogs were very interested in the poop. i had to pause to put them all away to prevent further damage.
with the dogs put away i stripped josiah down and gave him a bath. and i got poop on the bathroom floor.
then we moved to the changing area on top of the dryer in the laundry room to dress him. i carried with us the dirty stuff to go straight in the washer. and i got poop on the washer.
once dressed he demanded food so we paused to eat and gather ourselves. i looked around. poop in the car seat that i don't know how to take apart and clean. poop on the bathroom floor. poop on the washer. also, i'm operating on 3 hours of sleep.
so what do you do as a new mom? answer: you do what you have to do. step one clean washer and start laundry. step two, clean bathroom floor. step three rip apart that car seat and clean it. step four walk dogs - no wait, now it's time to change a diaper and feed the kid.
this will happen to you. i don't know any parent who hasn't had this happen. diapers just aren't meant to hold mustard like poop that comes out with that kind of force. it's not the diaper company's fault either. i just don't think a diaper can be created to do what you need it to do. i also think it's a right of passage. besides it makes for great adventures and competitions between you and your spouse.
"how many pooptastic events have you had to deal with?"
"oh yeah well remember that time i had to catch it with the wipes?"
i once had 5 diaper changes with this kid in a restaurant bathroom in five minutes because of poop. then after bringing him back to the table, he promptly pooped again forcing my husband to change him on the floor of the men's room because they don't have changing tables in men's rooms.
speaking of changing tables, you won't always be able to find one and it will happen in the most surprising places. one would think that it would be standard in any bathroom, but that's not the case.
zaxby's in durham - no changing table. lots of wall space where one could be easily installed but you will indeed end up on the floor with your fresh little one.
also, duke urgent care in hillsborough. medical facility. yep. lots of sick folks coming in and out. no changing table. you will put your not yet vaccinated little one on the floor and change them.
some barbeque joints don't have changing tables either.
i tell you all of this so that you will always have another outfit packed somewhere. the next time you go into a children's clothing store look around. all of those outfits will be subject to a blow out in their future.
now the irony is this...while your child is pooping with ease, you on the other hand, my dear post pregnancy mom, will be constipated and have hemorrhoids. you will look at your child sitting in a pile of poop with what can only be described as....jealousy. your first thought will be how to strategically clean it all up followed by pure envy of the ease with which they can pass stool and still be so darn happy.
i know you just read that and thought to yourself, "no. that will never happen. i'm a lady. that will never happen to me."
but trust me on this. go ahead, pregnant women everywhere, and do yourself a favor. learn to like prunes. purchase some miralax and tucks pads. get a stool softner. and by all means if they offer you any of that in the hospital take it, get extra and pack it away for later.
or don't. your choice.
this will happen to you. i don't know any parent who hasn't had this happen. diapers just aren't meant to hold mustard like poop that comes out with that kind of force. it's not the diaper company's fault either. i just don't think a diaper can be created to do what you need it to do. i also think it's a right of passage. besides it makes for great adventures and competitions between you and your spouse.
"how many pooptastic events have you had to deal with?"
"oh yeah well remember that time i had to catch it with the wipes?"
i once had 5 diaper changes with this kid in a restaurant bathroom in five minutes because of poop. then after bringing him back to the table, he promptly pooped again forcing my husband to change him on the floor of the men's room because they don't have changing tables in men's rooms.
speaking of changing tables, you won't always be able to find one and it will happen in the most surprising places. one would think that it would be standard in any bathroom, but that's not the case.
zaxby's in durham - no changing table. lots of wall space where one could be easily installed but you will indeed end up on the floor with your fresh little one.
also, duke urgent care in hillsborough. medical facility. yep. lots of sick folks coming in and out. no changing table. you will put your not yet vaccinated little one on the floor and change them.
some barbeque joints don't have changing tables either.
i tell you all of this so that you will always have another outfit packed somewhere. the next time you go into a children's clothing store look around. all of those outfits will be subject to a blow out in their future.
now the irony is this...while your child is pooping with ease, you on the other hand, my dear post pregnancy mom, will be constipated and have hemorrhoids. you will look at your child sitting in a pile of poop with what can only be described as....jealousy. your first thought will be how to strategically clean it all up followed by pure envy of the ease with which they can pass stool and still be so darn happy.
i know you just read that and thought to yourself, "no. that will never happen. i'm a lady. that will never happen to me."
but trust me on this. go ahead, pregnant women everywhere, and do yourself a favor. learn to like prunes. purchase some miralax and tucks pads. get a stool softner. and by all means if they offer you any of that in the hospital take it, get extra and pack it away for later.
or don't. your choice.
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