The struggle bus has arrived at laguardia.

"We are only boarding A passes right now. Ladies hello - you two only A passes boarding right now. That's passes with an A on them this is not an A this is a B - sit down."

"We are now boarding B passes if you have a pass with a B on it line up in numerical order. That means 1,2,3,4, 5 and so on. Numerical order. NUMERICAL."

"B1. Who has B1? Who has a 1 and a B on their pass? Thank you. B2. I'm looking for a B and a 2 on your pass. Please pay attention."

This has gone on for about 15 minutes now. Not our flight, the one before us. Either no one speaks English, or they can't count, or they just don't give a damn. Clearly the struggle bus unloaded at laguardia right before we got here. Now she's doing c group. A group didn't get it, B group didn't get it. You would think C group would have figured it out by watching, but noooooo. 

I feel like I've eaten at golden coral for 5 days - 3 meals a day. My clothes don't fit. This is truly disgusting. 

Let's talk about the Bronx. Everyone needs to go. We saw exactly 25 white people. We stood out like a sore thumb and it was awesome. We went to a place called Landin's Mac and cheese. Photos are on face book. I got burger Mac and cheese with a side of bacon Mac and cheese. Aaron got hot chicken Mac and cheese with a side of sweet bbq Mac and cheese. Worth the train ride and the looks. Unfortunately, a nap will be required immediately afterwards.

Post nap we decided that today was the day to settle the papaya king vs gray's papaya hotdog debate. We went to st marks in the village and ate at papaya King. Lots of toppings - in fact they have styles of dogs you've never even heard of. The walls make for very educational reading too. Those hot dogs were great. Very little meat though. They don't plump when you cook them. Buddy Gregory would be disappointed. 

We walked to doughnut plant for dessert. They were out of blueberry yeast and we fought over the last blueberry yeast creme filled. It was almost a marriage ender. Don't worry, we shared. Reluctantly. 

Then we went to the comedy cellar for a sold out show. This is where Louis CK performed for his show Louie. He wasn't there now because he's too big for all that. But we saw some great acts and laughed a whole lot. This place was better than Gotham because it's smaller. We were practically on the stage with them. We had lots of conversations and the poor guy Brett next to me really got tortured by Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock. I mean ROASTED. And a drunk lady almost got kicked out. She also fell out of her chair right before the last act. Note: do not drink before the comedy show. Do not talk. And do not move your chair. Hold still and laugh when it's appropriate. 

After that it was up to the upper west side for gray's papaya. Thumbs down. It was no better than a gas station dog. That hot dog had been sitting on that grill since yesterday. I could barely bite through it. And the toppings are plain Jane. Bleach. Two bites and I tossed it in the trash. Not worth it. 

Now the question remains - what's with the papaya? It's a hotdog stand. Not a fruit stand. It's like a bakery being called "celery King". I don't understand. What about a hotdog stand has anything to do with a papaya?

This is what I leave New York City pondering. I thought about it over breakfast at sarabeth's near Central Park. I thought about it while I packed. I thought about it in the escalade ride to laguardia and still, I sit and wonder. 

Maybe next time.